when I was in a psychiatric clinic they tested my emotionality and I scored very, very low. now it’s been three and a half years and I feel way better than I felt then, but my emotionality is still very, very low. I am starting to assume what they diagnosed as a symptom of depression was rather a cause. they did not find a cause or whatsoever. so I am asserting a new, better explanation. my hypothesis is based on high functioning autism or something similar. I did the check, highly intelligent, especially a lot of childhood communication problems (some still unresolved), limitless imagination, a need for truth and much more that goes along well with this. the assertion of this alone gives me some comfort. it makes me feel like I am not broken, I don’t need to be fixed. I am different, I will stay this way, I am alone with it. it’s okay not to understand other people. but of course, nevertheless I want confirmation. I hope I get a chance to confirm soon.
life hack: if the wipers of your car don’t work, just drive faster. The wind will wipe the rain off your wind shield.